All the siblings and their significant others sit and chat nicely at the big family table at Matt’s parents’ place.
“We should go to … (fill in name of city) some day,” one of his brothers suggests, “It has a great DIY store / exhibition about a beta nerd subject / something else boys are interested in.”
“Great, then your sister, Cecile and I can go shopping for shoes in the meantime,” his girlfriend replies.
I cringe.
“Uhm, yes, how lovely,” I react softly. “No, I do not want to go shopping with you!” I hear myself think.

Another example of a similar situation. Me and Matt are about to go to a specialized snowboarding shop for Matt in a town sixty miles away. After that, we’ll be driving to his parents’ house and somewhere along the way we will pick up his brother plus girlfriend with the car. This has to be arranged by phone of course. I hear his brother suggest we meet up in the town “because my girlfriend loves shopping.”
“No, no, no!” I lip sink in panic while waving me arms ferociously in effort to make my point.

Now, I may have my crazy bits, but in essence I am a normal girl. I like boys, dressing up for parties, gossiping about others, manipulating men, chatting, going for coffee, holding grudges and chatting some more. But I simply hate the girl approach to shopping for clothing and shoes.

Girls tend to shop like beheaded chickens without any goal or purpose, miraculously walking around for ages without ever getting tired. Sounds like torture to me. I like to make a list prior to any shopping spree and then go shop for exactly what I intended to buy. That doesn’t mean I might not come across something else I like that isn’t on the list. I’m not that rigid. But without an initial goal I feel completely lost.

It’s not a coincidence that I have successfully discovered the benefits of the combination of internet and my credit card. That way I can unite my enjoyment of unique items and clear nerdiness with my dislike of shopping.

But back to those who DO enjoy shopping without a reason. They say it’s some kind of therapy: retail therapy. To be honest, that’s something even I can understand. I do enjoy walking around in shops checking out what’s new and strolling with my iPod on whilst structuring my thoughts. It does feel very tranquilizing and therapeutic. So maybe, despite my own assumption, I actually do enjoy shopping…

Then I realise. It’s not as much the shopping I dislike, it’s the shopping GIRLS that drive me mad.

Girls seem to turn into horrible smiling and chatting, but insulting and obtrusive creatures when they ‘help’ each other shop. They tell you what you should buy “Oh, this would look so nice on you!” and tell you what’s wrong with you when you try things on “That does make you look a bit chubby / slutty / plain ugly.” Or they simply don’t get that you have a different taste than them.
“How about this one?”
“Nah…”
“Why not?”
“It’s knitted.”
“Well, why don’t you like knitted things?”
“I just don’t like knitted things.”
“Oh, you weird girl, you are so hopeless!”
No, I really don’t like what happens when I go shopping together with other girls. Shopping on your own or even with men is so much more effective, friendly and simple. I have always been a bit of a tomboy.

That’s probably why I enjoy wearing my ‘I Love Nerds’ T-shirt, or my ‘There’s No Place Like 127.0.0.1’ one. I bought them online and I think they show my tomboyishness perfectly. Sometimes fashion victimized girls come up to me and ask “Nice shirt, where did you get it?” “From the internet,” I smirk. “Oh…” But even better are the reactions by the guys. They usually start chatting enthusiastically about boy things and seem happy to be able to do so. Yes, I may not like to shop like a girl, but I do enjoy getting the attention it gets me from all the boys. Or does that make me a girly girl after all?

Column published by Cecile on Monday, March 31st, 2008.

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