I knew it was coming and I thought I was ready for it. Matt was going on his second snowboard trip this year. For a whole week. With friends. Without me.

I was prepared for missing him. They say that the feeling of missing somebody is quite similar to the feeling of kicking a drug habit. Including all the withdrawal symptoms. The same parts of your brain are involved. It’s like a break up, but with the guarantee of your significant other’s return.

Not a very pleasant prospect. I had no choice though. So bring it on.

The first day wasn’t that bad at all. I went into town for a nice shopping spree, a thing I hadn’t done for ages. And I’d been listening to R&B all day, Matt’s least favourite kind of music. I didn’t miss him one single bit. This was rather unnerving. Was my addiction gone already? Were we that far in our relationship? But then he called. And all the feelings that had been missing turned into the feeling of missing him badly.

We had done a thing to substitute each other’s company. I’d given him a little pink plush kitty (only just a little bit corny). I sprayed it with my perfume and made him put it in one of his jacket’s pockets (a bit more corny). This way I would be with him all the time, to comfort him were he to miss me (undeniably corny indeed).

For the one’s to stay at home, that is me, I’d taken a giant, man size plush toy ant (IKEA) out of the pile of teddy bears. I’d pulled one of Matt’s shirts out of the laundry and onto the ant, and sprayed his fragrance all over it. This way I’d created a life size substitute for him to alleviate my lonely nights at home. After I’d discovered I couldn’t sleep with that fragrance constantly in my nose and got a nasty stinging inflamed eye of it, I put it away and only used it for a quick sniff every now and then. It’s the thought that counts.

Darn, I was missing the guy. I wasn’t constantly thinking about him actively, but it was always somewhere in the back of my mind. Occasionally ignited by others asking me whether I already missed him or not. And of course I was counting the days for him to return.

But then this weird bond between us started to show. Something I thought I only had with my mom. A form of telepathy which I wouldn’t call telepathy. A sort of empathic bond. We started really missing each other at the same moment. Matt would text or call me right when I was just thinking about him. And vice versa. We sent each other quite explicit text messages right when the other was thinking about sex too. And I was getting extraordinarily tried, although I wasn’t having a very busy week. Like I was sharing his fatigue caused by snowboarding.

It was like pieces of rope between us. Like the semi phone line you make when you’re young with two cans and a string.

But truly extraordinary was the rather funny and freaky thing that happened at some point during the week. Matthew discovered he’d lost his wallet. After a vainly search in one of the pubs he and his friends had been that day it seemed that he had lost it while being on the slopes. Have fun finding a tiny wallet in the snow of Europe’s biggest skiing area. Instead of investigating every inch of snow they were smart enough to go to one of the lift attendants. This woman called every other lift attendant around the area to ask whether a wallet was found. She found the lift where it was turned in. She told Matt where he could go to collect it. She was called Cecile… Like I had sent a guardian copy of myself to the slopes, so I was there to take care of him.

Luckily Matt has returned home again. The Great Missing is over. And it was very touching and interesting to feel what a bond we have together. My faith in our relationship has been increased by it. Having such a true bond makes being with him even more special than it already is.

However, I know some even better bonds for the next time Matt considers going away without me: those of imprisonment.

Column published by Cecile on Monday, April 2nd, 2007.

Similar columns

• Beer by beer my love will grow
• 10 things I love about you
• Hoarding makes the heart grow fonder
• Breaking out of control
• Hurrah for furry kittens (& their male equals)