It’s one of those special moments. The first time you meet the parents.

Matt and I did this in a what I believe to be a both wonderful and memorable way. We got into the car on a Saturday and drove to some of the places that had to do with my upbringing. The places I used to play and live and be young. Somewhere in between we visited my parents’ home. This way meeting the parents was no such big deal, but just drinking a cup of tea for an hour, before resuming our trip. The next Saturday we did the same with his parents. An excellent way to combine a lovely day together with being inspected and judged by your significant other’s parents.

But how about making the parents meet the other parents? I’ve always found this part of being in a relationship quite nerve wrecking. It massively decreases the easiness with which a relationship can be quit. But when you decide to live together it understandably gets inevitable. Parents start to become very curious and impatient about the humans that have bred that creature that lives so closely to their own precious child.

I remember arranging my parents to meet up with the parents of Willard, years and years ago when we were still together. Indeed, he was going to move into my house, so it was only natural to make the parents get acquainted with each other.

We met in a restaurant. But not before his mother had cancelled. She had quite a good excuse, but ex and I knew it was more than convenient for her, because mum of ex and dad of ex were divorced and pretty explicitly hated each other. And then there were three. They talked and tried to get along quite well. But there never was a real connection. And I don’t believe they particularly missed each other when we broke up eventually.

To some extent, this was a pity. It’s a blessing for your relationship if the parents do get along. I believe it’s a trustworthy indication for the probability of the success of your relationship. I don’t mean decisive, because I know it isn’t. But surely it can be seen as a sign? If they get along they probably have a similar background and education. Which means the children have a similar background. Which increases the chances for a successful relationship. Besides: parents getting along has a lot of benefits during the holiday season and birthday parties. It means they can get together without depressing the general mood.

To some extent the non-existence of a connection between our parents was a bad omen for us. A sign to forecast failure. And hell, did we fail…

End of flashback and back to Matt and me. We’d been living together for four months now, and the parents were getting really eager. I mean really. Think dooming, unavoidable monsters slowly approaching their victims.

It’s so scary because there’s always that little chance they won’t get along. I’ve always been sure they would, but what if they don’t? Would that be a bad omen for us too?

The monsters took another slow but determined step. They had approached us so closely we could feel their breath… The time had come to stop thinking, contemplating and wavering. The time had come to come up with a plan.

We arranged an entire day trip. We would start with a boat excursion, after which we would be strolling around in some of the public gardens our city has. We were going to close the day with dinner at the most enjoyable Italian possible. It was so overdone for this occasion. But it had to be good. I wanted it to be good.

Matt and I were a little nervous. But funnily, our parents were too. They started off cautiously, like little rabbits sniffing the air to check for “good folk”. But soon they discovered things they had in common and stuff they could talk about. After a few hours the four of them were completely capable to function in a conversation of their own. A conversation with a lot of laughter, kind words and genuine interest.

Matt and I smile a beaming smile at each other. I heave a deep sigh of relief. We’d succeeded. Me and my boyfriend, a little step closer towards a happily ever after.

Column published by Cecile on Monday, June 11th, 2007.

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