As a child you have this wonderful feeling that everything you and your family do is perfectly normal. Traditions, rituals, relationships, communication, hierarchy; because it is the only thing you know, you tend to think that every family does the same things in the same way. And families who do otherwise are, well, they are just plain weird.
During Christmas time this becomes extraordinarily obvious. Every family has their own traditions on how to celebrate those special days in December. My family always had a beautiful tree and a posh and elaborate family dinner, but we didn’t give each other any gifts. Maia’s family did give presents to each other and their dinner was more of a buffet. More over, everybody was always welcome. When we were still children, Maia and I used to discuss whether Christmas is better with or without the hassle of presents. We both thought our own way of spending the holidays was the best. Nowadays I tend to incorporate bits of traditions of both my own and other families into my own personal traditions. I absolutely love Christmas.
It’s quite intriguing to think of all the ways people can view and experience Christmas. Some may see it as a time to be with their family. Some may focus on the religious meaning of Christmas. Some may enjoy the few days off from work to have fun and eat a lot. But whatever tradition or meaning we choose for Christmas, at least we all agree that Christmas is the jolly season. Or so I thought.
Until I posted some seasonal thoughts on the blog Matt’s friends have together (to share fun and laughter and to keep track of each other). Just to set the mood. They were innocent questions about what Christmas song they liked and what their personal traditions were; stuff like that. In their replies, I was crushed almost unanimously like some disgusting cockroach. “I hope Christmas is over soon!” one friend wrote. Another one imposed a death wish on every seasonal song. A third cheerful friend wrote that he wished he could tear down decorated trees. Oh, jolly.
Sulking and pouting I demanded an explanation from Matt for his weird friends’ weird behaviour.
“Why are your friends being so unkind? They are being incredibly stupid! What’s wrong with them? What did I do?”
“It’s not you; they can’t help it. They just have weird families.”
“Well, duh, obviously!”
“No, I mean really. A lot of parental divorces and deaths and stuff. That does alter one’s way of experiencing Christmas.”
“I guess so…”
At first I was angry for his friends trying to ruin my special Christmas spirit. Then I remembered another thing children tend to do. If their own family takes care of a certain part of ‘family behaviour’ not quite nicely, children start to notice that the families of their friends and other children have a different way of handling things. Consequently, they get jealous and start to think badly of their own family: “All the other families have fun and are loving to each other! Only my family is stupid! All other families should suck as much as mine! I hate everybody!”
Matt’s annoying friends were actually a bunch of sad, childish, resentful Christmas Grinches.
I understand, I really do. When you are missing a family member or are from a broken home, I’m sure everything is even harder during the times everybody else is having quality family time. But Christmas isn’t the moment to turn into a bitter cynic!
Christmas is not meant to remember and relive what might have gone wrong in the past. For those who believe in God: Christmas celebrates the birth of baby Jesus, the one that came to bring a new beginning of love and faith. Those who don’t believe in Jesus can experience Christmas as a few days to be with your loved ones and reflect on the past year, find closure and begin the new year fresh and full of good spirit. No messiah involved, but still the same feeling. A new beginning.
Grinches, let go of your grudges. Pick yourself up and try again. Create your own, new and personal traditions. Give Christmas a second chance.
Merry Christmas. Both to you and to everybody else.
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Merry Christmas! Hope it was a great one :)
Left by Michelle & the City on Thursday, December 27th, 2007