2007. Time to make those new year resolutions and live up to them. But not without considering my achievements for the year gone by.
For the past year, after being mentally and physically single for ages, I only had one resolution: shag a different guy every month. To make it more fun preferably each a different astrological sign. I made this vow to a fellow female single during the office Christmas party. It didn’t exactly work out this way…
Instead I happened to drunkenly sleep with one of my office executives a few months later. After this I felt so confident I didn’t mind nor remember snogging a casual acquaintance of mine during a night out (again, drunk). Accidentally this occurred 3 feet next to where the same recently shagged colleague was standing. Next thing I know I was torn between the possibility of being adored by every single man alive and that little boy aka my colleague, constantly pulling my sleeve to please please please be his and love him forever. Both alluring prospects, I must admit. But I finally chose for my insistent admirer to be my boyfriend. And he still is. So much for having casual promiscuous sex and love affairs in 2006. But hey, something’s gotta give.
I used to have loads of resolutions every year when I was younger. I would sit on the couch during the last hours of the 31th of December and start writing down everything I wanted to achieve in the coming year. Pages and pages and pages. I would cluster them thematically and rank them according priority. I would make to-do-lists and long term plans to make sure I’d reach my goals. And when the year was done I would evaluate every single point and make a new list. And I remember achieving almost every single wish on those lists.
I love resolutions. They seem to work, to set your mind straight, to remember what you wanted from life and to make sure life didn’t waste another year doing next to nothing. Nobody else I know has such elaborate thoughts about new year resolutions. They hardly ever come any further than some typical cliche one liners like “losing some weight” or “stop smoking”. And a few weeks into the new year those plans for lifestyle changes have completely disappeared.
But when they work so well for me, why don’t they for other people? Are mine better formulated? Do I have more will power? And how do they work? Are they some sort of self fulfilling prophecy?
To analyse this matter I needed an example of one of my older resolution documents. So I went up to the attic of my parents to rummage in some old boxes and see what I could find. There they were: my resolutions for 1999. I was 16 and ready to become an adult when I wrote them. A good enough reason for a long list of resolutions.
My 1999 one year plan consisted of 8 different projects, each with a few sentences on the project’s spearheads and what to do to succeed. To sum up in a few words they were: losing some weight, improve my personal hygiene, have more social contacts, increase my visits to museums and concerts, increase my (sexual) experience, gain more money, improve my English proficiency and increase my knowledge of pop music. Horribly enough, I instantly realised my resolutions for 2007 would be quite similar to those of 1999. I’ve never weighed as much as today, still choose to forget to shower regularly, have had my group of friends narrowed down to 6, still wish I went to see more art events, have a nice salary but ain’t satisfied, am annoyed by my lacking English and still don’t know who wrote White Christmas. Apparently I not only hadn’t achieved them in 1999, but in fact I’d never.
The one thing I had achieved in the past years, sexual experience, ironically was the only resolution left on my list for last year. This was, to put it mildly, quite disappointing. I had wasted my time formulating goals I would never achieve. While others were drinking, chatting, having fun and celebrating the new year to come.
My resolutions for 2007? I really don’t know what will come my way, but at least I vaguely remember I’ve started the new year with a huge party and a lot of booze.
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