Today I saw something pretty.

I was strolling through one of the inner city shopping streets. Then suddenly, I noticed some commotion in front of one of the shops. To quench my habit of nosiness I drew nearer to give my prying eyes a good view. In the midst of the tumult lay an elderly couple, who apparently had fallen to the ground. Thus far not a very pretty story, I admit.

But the pretty, because both intriguing and sweet, part of this situation was the reaction of the bystanders. Like bees to honey within seconds at least a dozen people were lugging and jerking at the limbs of the two old people, trying to get them up again. The reaction of these bystanders was so overwhelming that the man of the couple nearly fell again. I was touched, and almost disappointed that I hadn’t been close enough when the accident happened to be one of these everyday heroes.

How come I found this so touching, you may ask. Isn’t it our duty as a human to help our fellow humans in need? Isn’t it our moral obligation to help a passer-by up when he or she happens to fall down in our presence? Why, of course it is. I mean, I was taught to do so and I hope everyone else is too.

However, in the past few years my positive view on humankind has gradually become more and more grim and depressing. All we are told by the media is how nobody helps each other anymore. How we have lost our respect for older people and that our acceptance of authority has diminished beyond zero a long time ago. People have become isolated individuals, moving around in tiny hermetically closed capsules of personal space. They are unaware of the needy people that surround them, let alone willing to help them if necessary.

Before I go any further we need to recognize a distinction between help that’s needed in an everyday situation, like old people losing their balance, and help that’s required in potentially life threatening situations.

I’m aware of the difficult social thing called the ‘bystander effect’ when it comes to witnesses handling in threatening situations. Very often a group of people will watch a robbery, beating, rape or murder with disgust but without taking any action. This is because they all wait for somebody else to act first. I guess it’s some kind of a herd thing: because of the emergency people automatically form a herd again of ‘us’ against ‘them’, and nobody wants to be the one that acts differently from the rest of the group. Consequently, the more witnesses the less likely somebody is to intervene.

Don’t condemn them for it though, they can’t help it and probably feel bad about themselves already. They really want to help, but are scared to be the first. And if they choose to flee away from the crime scene it’s merely a human defence mechanism to protect themselves from possible danger. The media are just making it worse by stating nobody helps each other anymore and thus making us feel bad. And, come to think of it, this way they increase the pressure on potential witnesses of emergency, therefore decrease the chance someone will dare to help.

In spite of this, I was honestly made to think by those same media that helping out a stranger when the pressure isn’t so high had turned into a has-been and a no-go too. How pleasant to have been proofed wrong by those many people. They were literally nearly fighting to be the one to help the, now slightly disorientated and overwhelmed, couple of old people.

After half a minute or so I realised I’d been watching the jumble of people without lending a hand myself. However, there was no piece of old human being left to get a hold on. I had no choice but to accept everything would probably be alright, my service wasn’t needed and I’d better get on with my shopping. And so I did. But it was a nice and sweet reassuring showcase, a little ray from heaven: everything is still as it should be, despite what the media might tell you.

Column published by Cecile on Monday, September 17th, 2007.

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