Not really conscious of doing so I open my eyes. A ray of white light forms a neat line, seemingly cutting my surroundings in two, illuminating the space around me. I realize I am awake and slowly become aware of my feelings. Both pain and immense happiness take hold of my body. Like a giant metronome that has possessed my body the focus constantly switches between the pain and the happiness, pain, happiness, pain, happiness…

Considering my senses this could both be a hospital or heaven.

I take a look around and on my right I see Matt lying beside me. His eyes are closed and he seems asleep, but I’m not sure: maybe they are just closed while he ponders on an inner thought. As a matter a fact he looks so innocent and pure, that it’s not entirely undisputable that he is actually alive.

Considering my senses this could both be a hospital or heaven.

Greece, our two week holiday; I seem unable to calculate which day of our holiday would be today. I only know that the pains have never really stopped, only grown. I never really had time to recover from my illness the week before we left. I never really took the time to recover from the tiring journey, the sleepless night in which we travelled. The black and blue bruises on my body from falling off my bike after a drunken party two days before we left are fading slowly, but still easy to feel. I’m both intrigued and annoyed by the curious infection in my urinary tract I caught during the first night, which makes peeing feel either somewhat funny or downright painful. My nails have all broken off but one. And now, like a giant glazed cherry on top, I get to enjoy the food poisoning I caught by eating uncooked minced meat in one the local taverns. I don’t know where which pain begins or where which discomfort ends. Lying motionless is good, moving isn’t.

Considering my senses this could both be a hospital or heaven.

Matt moves slightly and lets out an undeliberate moan. He’s been so brave in the sun. His pale, freckled skin gives him no natural protection from the sun at all. Using an entire range of sun protection products hasn’t prevented the inevitable. Matt has slowly turned into a grilled souvlaki, or any other kind of barbecued meat that fits into the Greek menu. Lying motionless is good, moving isn’t. The sun is known to kill sometimes.

Considering my senses this could both be a hospital or heaven.

We are lying on crispy white sheets. Another layer of white sheets covers our legs and half of our upper bodies. Rushes of cool air flow from the air conditioning system like little waves, touching our sweaty bodies. We stare at the ceiling, smiling faintly. Both in pain, both experiencing a serene happiness.

Considering my senses this could both be a hospital or heaven.

Greece. In close my eyes again and can picture the blue sea and clear sky I have seen so often in the past so many days vividly inside my mind. I can almost hear the waves. I remember all the things Matt and I did; touring the entire island, visiting all the villages and it’s beaches and taverns; enjoying the island’s nature, it’s mountains, flora and fauna, and the countless viewpoints. I look at Matt. He reads my mind and agrees by returning a smile. Despite everything, this has been the best holiday we’ve ever had.

Considering my senses this could definitely only be heaven.

Column published by Cecile on Monday, July 30th, 2007.

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