“Do you know what I really find unattractive in men? If they have a very noticeable six pack belly.”
“I have one of those at home.”
“You have what?”
“My boyfriend, he has a beautiful tight and muscular torso. It’s gorgeous.”
“Right. I see.”
So far the report on the body of my ex-colleague Dalya’s boyfriend. Apparently, like many women, she does enjoy her man to have a tough and stiff, Peter Andre like, the scales of a wood louse resembling, impossible to truly cuddle, belly. It’s one of those things that I don’t understand in female preferences. It’s okay though, because it merely proves that she’s been fishing in ‘that other pond’.
Ever since I was a teenager and needed a focus for my newly found sexuality I recognised there are roughly two kinds of possibly admirable guys: the sports men and the music men. I know there are a few men who practise both passionately and a lot more who practise none at all. But I still stand with my classification of men in one of those two types. It isn’t just about practice, it’s about style.
The sports type kind of guy enjoys physical exercise. His hobbies include a lot of sports (Really? Who would have guessed?). He appreciates physical achievements. The sports man usually doesn’t have time or interest for true individual choices in clothing and personal style. Therefore the sports type always looks, even though it may be the latest trend, rather conventional, casual and sporty. And it’s odds on he smells of a spicy, sporty aftershave.
A very different kind of breed is the music type kind of guy. A man of this kind usually wears more alternative clothing and has less conventional haircuts. He doesn’t really care for sports, but prefers to listen to music, and maybe even plays in a band. He values creativity. Unfortunately there’s a slight chance he smells a bit, well, odd.
Consequently, because music guys hardly practise sports, this kind of man has a slower physical development than his sporty rival and takes longer to actually look like a man. In fact, I doubt music guys ever really lose their boyish looks.
Of course these are extremes, and I know that men generally come in shades of grey instead of the kind of black or white division I’m sketching. But the facts are that a woman usually prefers one or the other. Why? I don’t know. There’s probably an interesting evolutionary explanation for it. But a lack of instantly presentable explanations doesn’t refute its truthfulness.
And within this truth I am the opposite of Dalya I quoted earlier. I don’t know why, but I’m scared of that prototype of man: the tall guy with the six pack, without body hair, and displaying shiny white and perfect teeth. I like my men a bit boyish. Give me a man who’s fit but not muscular, and who wants to listen to alternative indie music with me. If on top of that he has slightly imperfect teeth plus a bit of hair on his chest and wherever the sun doesn’t shine and I’m probably as happy as a girl can be.
I clearly chose for the music type of guy to be the victim of my devotion. I’m sure you have your own preferences yourself, don’t you?
So now, a few days after Dalya triggered my thoughts on the subject, I find myself pondering over these very different preferences in men. Suddenly the front door opens. It’s Matt who returns from his run in the park. He’s covered in sweat and extremely proud of himself for running for half an hour. So am I, really, but honestly, cutie, no matter how hard you try, luckily for me you’ll always be a music boy. But I will stop preaching and start practising now, because I think I’m going to join him in the shower…
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I used to think guys had to have perfect bodies. `Used to’ I cannot stress enough. Fortunately I grew out of this and, well now, find myself not really thinking about the physical stuff (although draw a line at guys who are very overweight) - it’s personality/face first, everything else just follows. And, even though the chipster SHOULD be a sports bloke (the majority in his trade are), he’s a music boy. And thank the lord for that.
Left by London-Lass on Monday, September 24th, 2007